‘Rabid’ Raccoons Turn out to Be Drunk on Fermented Crab Apples

Desiree Burns
November 18, 2018

Following recent reports that masked perpetrators were raising alarm in a town in the USA state of West Virginia, police say they have reason to believe the troublemakers had just gotten wrecked.

"There's a strong public service component to the show and we have reportedly warned you about the threat that zombie raccoons may pose to this country", Carlson said with a serious look. One of the raccoons in question had reportedly gotten wasted by eating some fermented crab apples.

With the help of local neighborhood residents, officials with the Milton Police Department apprehended and then took a "masked bandit" - a raccoon - into custody Monday, the police department said on Facebook. "Today's culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort".

We have had calls on suspected rabid raccoons twice over the last two days.

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No word how many of raccoons were involved in the drunken snackery.

When officers from the Milton, West Virginia, Police Department got a call about some oddly-behaved raccoons, their natural assumption was that the critters had rabies-a disease which causes hallucination and aggression in mammals.

Police found the raccoons signs of alcohol intoxication and not of rabies. After a short stay at the station, sober raccoons were released.

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